Time To Raise My APM
by Flame Emblem
Summary: (Oneshot) (technically a reupload) Hana Song's APM of 87500, or 106.968215 times the current human limit of Actions Per Minute, isn't completely natural. Jack and Ana are astonished at her reaction speed. Roadhog participates.


Author's note: if you were one of the two views who saw an absolute mess of formatting, I apologize. Been a long time since I've uploaded to here. The first draft of this was 1337 words, due to those formatting errors, and I'm sad I lost that.

Hana Song sat quietly on her laptop in the hanger awaiting the mission, browsing with one hand, grabbing a bottle of pills with the other. The rattle caught Jack's eye. Grunting, he stood up, walking over to Hana while she deftly opened the bottle without looking.

"Aren't you a little young to rely on medications?" Jack asked, watching as she poured out three large pills from her right hand into her left, before closing and stowing the bottle away and grabbing for her soda.

"Nah, these are for fighting. They make me react faster, so I can shoot down the enemies' attacks." Hana threw all three pills in the air, one by one, and caught them in her mouth, before chugging down the entire can of soda. She threw it towards the trash can, making the shot easily.

"Really? How so?"

"Here, watch. Hey, big guy, can we borrow your gun, and the crank you put on it?"

Hana looked over at the large masked man in the corner. He shrugged, and held them out, letting out a noncommittal "Mmmph".

"Thank you! You're not nearly as bad as some people make you sound!"

"Mmmph?"

"Anyways, Jack, come here." Hana skipped over to her mech, holding Roadhog's gun up with both hands to avoid scrap falling out. "Here, when I say go, turn the crank, and watch as I take care of everything you throw at me!" She shoved the gun into Jack's hand, diving in her mech, and booting it up. A familiar array of lines appear in the air before the mech. "Go!"

Jack pointed the gun at the mech and slowly turned the crank, almost surprised when the gun didn't fall apart in his hands and when shrapnel flew at the mech's cockpit, only to be rapidly shot out of the air one by one. A muffle cry of "Faster" came from the cockpit, and so Jack slowly sped up the speed of the rotations, until a stream of sharp metal flew from the muzzle. The count of shards that hit the mech didn't go up.

"No way. It does it automatically." Jack stared in disbelief as he ran out of scrap, and none of it touched Hana.

"Really? Come try it." Hana smirked, jumping out of the mech and taking the gun from Jack, before calling over her shoulder, "Hey, we need mo-"  
A rough hand fell on her shoulder, and another slapped more metal into the gun. A low, muffled voice rumbled "No need to yell."

"Thank you! You're so thoughtful!" Hana beamed.

Roadhog gave them a big thumbs up, before turning and lumbering away to his corner. Hana looked over her shoulder, before quietly whispering, "I didn't know he talked."

"Hana, there's a problem here." Jack stood behind the mech, looking inside. "There's no way on earth I fit in here without dislocating a shoulder. And I'm too old to do that anymore. No, you know what? Ana, can you come here? Need your help with something."

Ana rose from her tea set, slowly striding over to avoid her tea sloshing in her cup. "What are you children getting up to?"  
"Hana claims she has got some ungodly reaction speed from her medicine and I think her machine's doing it automatically. I need you to jump in her mech and use the controls to prove it. I don't fit." Jack stood, arms crossed, a good foot taller than Hana and Ana.

"I can try, but I don't know how to drive one of these things." Ana glanced doubtfully at the mech, sipping her tea.

"Don't worry, 할머니*, I'll show you how, it's easy!" Hana smiled, walking to the front of the mech. "Just climb in!"

"I don't know what you just called me, but I'll assume it's not an insult. Jack, you'll be sorry if my tea gets cold." Ana handed the teacup and saucer to Jack, shaking her head as she clambered into the mech's cockpit. Hana pointed at a corner button from the outside, picking a piece of scrap out of the top of the gun. Ana pushed the button, raising the windshield of the cockpit.

"Okay, so, making sure I am not in the way, when you're ready to shoot stuff down, hit _this_ button." Hana pointed at one on the joysticks. "When you do, the guns will point inward, so you can use them to shoot things down. Make sure you do it with the windshield down. You don't want to accidentally shoot yourself learning the controls. I'll throw this piece of scrap, once you get the controls down to hit it, we'll show you the real thing."  
"Eh, I've been shot before. Get out of the way." Ana smiled, interested in the new challenge. She closed the windshield, and once Hana moved to the side, she hit the button. Hana threw the scrap in front of the mech, and Ana fired the guns.

Hana watched, in almost slow motion, as a bullet came out of the cylinder and flew in a beeline towards Ana's teacup, hitting it and shattering the porcelain. Fairly hot tea covered Jack's face and shirt.

Hana stood silently in shock for a moment, while Jack yelled and used his not-too-drenched shirt to wipe away the tea, before ripping it off. Once it was clear Jack was fine, Ana and Hana burst out in laughter, laughter that Jack even joined in afterwards, and laughter that could even be heard rumbling deeply in the corner.

"Alright, I'll get it next time. I think I've figured out the controls off of that." Ana wiped tears out of her eyes, before grabbing the joysticks confidently. Hana threw the scrap again, and Ana deftly shot it out of the air. Jack grabbed the shards of porcelain off of the ground, and threw them in front of the mech, each one being shot down before they hit the ground again. "Okay, I'm ready. How hard can the real thing be?"

Jack did not start slow this time; metal flew out of the gun at an absurd rate. Ana was not ready for the real thing. The windshield, as intended, blocked the several pounds of metal launched at her before Jack was able to stop the gun, breaking the crank off in the process. When the metal fell out of the way, Ana's shocked face appeared in the windshield. She slowly reached over and pressed the windshield button.

"Good heavens, girl. What do they give you to be able to react to all that that fast?" Ana blinked slowly. "I shot down maybe three little scraps."

"Some condensed, intensified version of amphetamine aspartate, amphetamine sulfate, dextroamphetamine saccharate, dextroamphetamine sulfate, and some other stuff. I have to call game companies with my Korean military I.D. whenever I make an account, because I play so fast they think I'm a bot or hacker. Blizzard knows me by name, although they knew me before I enlisted anyways." Hana counted off the chemical names on her finger. "I'm also legally not allowed to play in any game tournaments. At least, none that do drug testing. The stuff's made by the Korean military and is kind of a state secret. I... probably shouldn't have told you about it, but we're all working together now. Just keep it a secret?" Hana winked, finger gunning at Ana and Jack.

*Korean for "Grandmother", pronounced hal-moan-y


End file.
